Watch The Gap!

LIRR Diary Entry: Just so much to write about with the LIRR sucking this week. Has anyone had the privilege of hearing the "Gap Rap"? Well you're in for a treat! Some lyrics go "Look down, Step over, and Watch the Gap..." What it should say is "don't be a re-tard and fall in the gap" because if you fall in the gap, chances are you're not fit to have made it as long as you did and you're retarded. How many people are falling into this 6 inch gap between the train and the platform? How many that we need to dedicate posters, money to artists to write and compose a song that focuses on people who are falling into this tiny space? I am shocked that a song has been written about it. If you have fallen in the gap, please please please invite me to your next athletic outting. I would love to watch as you flip and flop all over the field, court, etc. because it's going to definitely get onto this blog. I bet I fall in the gap now. Haha!

It's getting hot in here...

LIRR Diary Entry: I'm packed like a sardine on the train right now. Not to mention I have a lot of cargo and I'm standing. No seats available. That's expected. $250 a month to collapse in the arms of a stranger. Sounds like DisneyWorld. A russian guy just got on the train who is yelling at everyone. This might restart ...the Cold War. He might be a gymnast from 1968 because he's about 4ft 9in tall and barrell chested.

Older Entries

June 3rd, 2010

LIRR Diary Entry: Standing next to a midget on the train. Nothing more to say, best entry thus far.

May 3rd, 2010

LIRR Diaries: What I am about to tell you is TRUE! A group of 20 yo's we're yelling after a happy hour last week to some guy about how he's a "loser" and a "douche" etc. Then he calls some girl "a fat pig" which had me laughing, she says "where's my fat?" and does a pole dance on the train, AWESOME! Then some really ha...mmered guy starts in about he's been in jail and he's not afraid of the guy and spits on him. Weird!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhsKz3jPDUQ&NR=1

(not my video but paints a picture)

A few months ago

LIRR Diaries: 55 minutes to leave Penn Station tonight because of a broken track. That was pretty awesome. We were back and forth in the tunnel so much I think the station came!

LEBRON!!!!

Earlier...

LIRR Diary Entry: I can't shake the chatter about LeBron James and "the decision" tonight. Everyone is talking about it on the train. My gut says Miami. This guy next to me hopes the LA Clips. Going to Miami results in the biggest boos since Ewing was traded for Glenn Rice and a gift card to Chevys. Miami will be the D...arth Vader of sports. Woman next to me is chugging a beer in a paper bag. No wedding ring? Shocking!

I can't believe he went to Miami. I don't disapprove of him leaving Cleveland. For all we know, he's always hated Ohio and they drafted him and he was stuck there. But Miami? You just told the world you needed help to get over the hump. That's straight up bad PR.

Back on the Train

Nick Checking in!

So I have not ridden the train in sometime because of summer break. But I’m now teaching summer school. So it’s time to ride again. I was two stops from getting off today and then it happened. A 300 pound female bum walked on the train and I thought she wanted to sit next to me. I was so incorrect she wanted to sell me a use bic pen. I told her so kindly no thanking and she walked away. That is when her smell hit. It was like taking a hit from Ray Lewis or Ronny Lott. She smelled so bad that she cleared out at least six rows. Her smell was so bad it felt like I could taste it the same way you feel after painting a room in your house.

So I’m now sitting in my classroom in downtown LA thinking “I should have driven”

Nick from the West Side

Nick Checking in from the West Side. Today it took me 2.5 hours to get to work. Most days it only takes 35 mins. A Honda tried to our make a turn in front of a Big Rig. The Honda lost. Because this happened on the train track, all trains were shut down. (I know our system is not advanced as yours in the NYC). Metro (name of LA’s train system) told everyone on the train it will only take 10 mins to clear the tracks. After 1 hour of just sitting there. Metro told everyone to get off the train and find a bus. At this point I was only about half way to work looking out the train at Government Housing (the hood). After that I took 3 buses and got to work 2 hours late. The best part is when I walked into my classroom all my students were sitting there. No one told the office I was not in my room.

There will me more to come from the west side. Sorry for the bad grammar. I’m writing and teaching at the same time.

Monday will be a great day. Lakers will be holding there yearly parade. Last year I had to hit a guy in the back of the head on the train for trying to take my bag.

GD Lakers...

So my buddy Nick from Long Beach, CA ride the 6:47am out of Long Beach into downtown LA everyday. So basically he's going to be going into how the West Coast deals with the instanity of public transit. Who knew that there was mass transit in Cali? I thought people just sat in traffic all day long. Anyways, he is going to start contributing to this debacle of a website. Feel free to crush him and make fun of his posts whenever necessary. He's a good sport.

How did the Lakers pull of a 17 point swing in the 4th quarter? It was pretty bad.

West Coast!

To my 3 followers:
I have just signed up a West Coast contributor to speak about his 6:47 train from Long Beach to down town LA. The train goes through Long Beach, Compton, Watts, and the projects into Los Angeles. Hopefully he's not a bust!

LIRR Diary Entry: Tickets Please!!!

I got up a bit later today. I have a bit more freedom these days due to having purchased a new whip this past Sunday. Jumped in my new shiny go-kart (Hyundai Elantra) also nicknamed - Nan's Car. The new purchase makes things a little easier on my wife who was picking me up everyday from the station. So I am not on the regular 6:47am train out of Oceanside which is pretty tame for the most part. As I am walking up to the car I see my daughters friends father. Had a great ride in. We're talking it up and he's a great guy so my morning is going pretty well at this point.

I had to get off at Jamaica station because this train was going into Brooklyn. So I finally find my track and get on. Conductor comes around asking for tickets, show him mine, guy next to me shows his. Some guy walks through trying to pass the conductor who checked my ticket and he's literally "coney island" walking through the isle to get away. The conductor in a thick LI accent says "WHERE'S YOUR TICKET?" Here is where it just got insane.

Here's the exchange:

Guy: IT'S AT MY SEAT!
Conductor: GO GET IT!
Guy: IT'S AT MY SEAT!
Conductor: GO GET IT!
Guy: GET OUTTA MY FACE!
Conductor: GO GET YOUR TICKET!
Guy: IT'S AT MY SEAT! GET OUTTA MY FACE!
Conductor: IS THERE A POLICE OFFICER AVAILABLE?
Guy: WHY DON'T YOU GO GET MY TICKET?
Conductor: Why don't you just get your ticket for us?
Guy: YOU SAW ME SLEEPING MAN. WHY I GOTTA GIVE YOU THE TICKET AGAIN?
INTERCOM: Is there a police officer on board?
Guy: Man, this is f***ed up.

The guy then proceeds to get physical with the conductor(s) but I was too sunken into my seat out of sheer embarassement regarding the entire situation to know all the details that followed regarding the altercation. I also didn't know if this guy was sporting a piece of whatever. You never know. So I was ducking like a pu$$y but a pu$$y that wasn't going to get shot by some clown who didnt have a ticket. I know that it's like hitting a cop if you touch one of these MTA guys. I don't see the correlation but whatever. One guy punches tickets, the other guy saves lives and protects society. How are these guys the same? Whatever.

Had to stop at Woodside. The guy was escorted off the train by police. People are freaking out because they're late for work. I felt great. I was NOT at work so my nausea that I have every morning on the way to work was suspended for that 20 minute interlude.

The lesson learned here? No clue.

Good Day!

"You come at the king, you best not miss"